In the faculty portion of our middle school office, there used to be a manual candy dispenser usually filled with m & ms. You could turn the knob and get as many m & ms as you wanted. Yesterday a new machine appeared. It is an automatic motion sensor candy dispenser from Sharper Image. And yes, it was filled with m & ms.
When you put your hand under the dispensing part, a bluish light comes on and out come m & ms. Or at least that’s what is supposed to happen. In actuality, sometimes one m & m comes out. Sometimes none. Sometimes a healthy handful. We were laughing yesterday that the machine actually reads your BMI and “decides” whether you should have candy or not.
Today a colleague, who was part of the bantering about this machine yesterday, walked into the office. She put her hand under the dispensing part, the blue light came on, and a single m & m was dispensed. With a disconcerted look on her face, she looked at the dispenser and said, “Bitch” — loud enough to be heard, but not too loud because, after all, we are a school. About 5 seconds later, without any prompting, the machine spontaneously spit out m & ms all over the table and onto the floor.
Apparently not only does this candy dispenser read your BMI, it also can detect when a little bingeing will prevent its replacement.