bears are squeezed out of the mountains
down into the valley of condos and housing developments.
All residents are therefore prohibited
from putting their garbage out early.
The penalty for disobedience will be
bears: large black furry fellows
drinking from your sprinkler system,
rolling your trashcans down your lawn,
bashing through the screen door of the back porch to get their
first real taste of a spaghetti dinner,
while the family hides in the garage
and the wife dials 1-800-BEARS on her cell phone,
a number she just made up
in a burst of creative hysteria.
Isn’t that the way it goes?
Wildness enters your life and asks
that you invent a way to meet it,
and you run in the opposite direction
as the bears saunter down Main Street
sending station wagons crashing into fire hydrants,
getting the police department to phone
for tranquilizer guns,
the dart going by accident into the
neck of the unpopular police chief,
who is carried into early retirement
in an ambulance crowned with flashing red lights,
as the bears inherit the earth,
full of water and humans and garbage,
which looks to them like paradise.
—from Hoagland’s I have News for You, © 2010