Friends of IB’s from Japan are visiting from Osaka this week. We went for hamburgers for lunch, a typical American experience. This particular restaurant had a wall of hot sauces to choose from. We had fun experimenting with the variety of flavors.
JB asked for the hottest one. The waiter did not know which was the hottest but said that Mad Dog 357 was pretty hot. IB and his two Japanese friends put a bit on their burgers and became almost immediately silent, their eyes getting wider and wider as their senses became more and more aware of a terrible mistake they had just made. Lips burning, throat burning, eyes watering. Hands to their foreheads. Holding their throats, their chests, their stomachs. They were literally in a great deal of pain. We rushed to get bread and milk and more beer to try to assuage the red-hot fire in their innards. They were in Chicago for less than two hours before they experienced a very real Chicago fire. After the flames had been tamped down, which took a bit of time, we read the bottle, which had very serious warnings about its use.
Needless to say, though the heat very clearly knocked the three of them for a fiery loop, in the end they had a very fine story to tell of ingesting the hottest substance on earth and living to tell the tale.